Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Conversation with Malachi Thomas

Malachi Thomas is a foreman for the Moreorless masonry company. He is a man whom is about forty, and he likes to do the daily crossword puzzles. A dedicated worker who is most of the time conscientious, and he embraces the establishment or corporate office if you will, as needed.
Today, Malachi is ordered by his project manager Baker Bowie to cut four masons from the roster, or in other words,it is lay-off time. Malachi responds by telling Baker to pick three because he already laid one mason off this morning. Baker Bowie being a double-chinned gutless sycophant does not want to pick.

"Just do it." Says Baker.
"Like Nike, OK. I'll lay off Alberto, Miguel, and Raul at break time." responds Malachi. "Good." replies Baker with a sigh of relief.
"Pick three." Says Malachi to the Geo-tech, Bob.
"Three for what?" asks Bob.
"Three for pinks." says Malachi grinningly pointing to the top of the scaffold.
"No, man. Not on your life." says Bob.
"Why not, are you chicken?" says Malachi.
"No, man. I don't want to be apart of such cruelty." says Bob.
"It's the right thing to do. There is no work, and the company expects me to reduce." explains Malachi.
"I don't care if it is the right or wrong thing to do. It is still cruel." says Bob.
"How so no one guarantees you a job. There is such a thing as a Darwinian aspect in life. These are my worst four guys, and the company can no longer afford to keep them employed. In this business, people are tools or commodities, if you will. When they are no longer of value or become unusable, then you get rid of them." lectures Malachi.
"It makes it no less cruel. He becomes a victim of circumstance, and his wife and children become one as well. All because Mr. Bill Moreorless can't do without his two beach houses in Cape May, or his fifty million in the bank. You could let them at least finish out the day, and if you were to be compassionate and generous, you'd let them finish out the week." responds Bob.

With that they walk over to the truck and finish the crossword on a hot summer day. They each light a cigarette and pop the brims of their hard hats up. They look at the scaffold and see the masons climbing down to go to break. "This will only take a minute, don't go anywhere," Malachi orders Bob. Malachi goes up the hill and sends Alberto, Miguel and Raul home. Bob looks up the hill and sees the distress on their faces as they leave. Malachi walks briskly down the hill.

"Told you, it wouldn't take long." says Malachi
"While you were at it, did you tell them to eat cake?" Bob digs.
"Look, three months from now, I could be in their shoes." exclaims Malachi.
"So for three months worth of pay, you punched their tickets. You should of told Baker to do it, or called Moreorless and made him do it." says Bob.
"They expect me to do it." says Malachi.
"I don't get you. Half the time you are saying that you are going to walk out, and the other half you are kissing Baker's posterior. Why?"
"Because their is a Darwinian aspect to life. In the animal world the strong survive and the weak become obsolete. In our world, survival depends on skill and/or cunning. Whether it be surviving for three more months or eternity, you must have skill and/or cunning," says Malachi.
"It seems to me that it comes to kissing butts and dumb-luck." says Bob.
"And that would be the and/or cunning part of the Darwinian aspect. Takes both, remember that." says Malachi.
"In the meantime, four families have been screwed in the posterior by Moreorless. Do me a favor? If it ever happens to me, don't let anyone tell me about the Darwinian aspect or use the phrase, 'go eat cake,' or I will kick that guy in his little Darwins" replies Bob.

And with that Malachi nodded and cut the day short. He took four hours leave and got into his company owned truck to head home. When he got home he patted his dog on the head and changed into his blue and white speedos-in order to annoy the stay-at-home wives in the neighborhood-and after doing that, he grabbed three beers. He walked toward the pool in his backyard and put the beers at the pool's edge. He grabbed his green and pink raft and placed it into the water. He grabbed a beer, and laid on the raft with his moon exposed to the sun, neighborhood, or any passer-by such as Darwin's clone, so that they may know that they were fully entitled to kiss his a-- because there is a Darwinian aspect in life.

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